Thursday, December 10, 2009
“The Buddha, Geoff and Me”, and me
This book by Edward Canfor-Dumas is something that I would have never borrowed much less bought had I seen it at a bookshop. I would have dismissed it as pop-psychology/encourage-yourself-in-10-steps kind of a book – something that I never read. So when Vatssla, a friend from school, recommended it after hearing of my marriage fiascos, I noted down the name and comfortably went to my World War 2 Stories.
But she persisted, and I am glad she did!
After she insisted that she wants me to read it cause she considers me a friend, I had to give in. I ordered it on Amazon and the book arrived in a few days.
When I started reading it, the initial impression was indeed of it being a pop-psych-10-step course with a veneer of a storyline. But as I usually persist with all the books that I pick up (only exceptions being Mein Kamf and The Jamaica Inn), I kept on with this one.
I am glad I did.
The protagonists in the book – Geoff and the Narrator talk about life and how Buddhism can redeem what we call life.
This is the first time I really read about the religion apart from the stories that I had read in school textbooks. The fantastic thing about the book is that it conveys that you can apply the learnings of the religion without actually following it.
Several of these things resonated with me at different levels. At certain points I identified what I had absorbed as just being a Hindu and being observant of my religion. At others, I recalled lessons that I had learnt in my Moral Science classes at the Convent School I went to. Still others were values that I got from my mother. And the ones about being grown-up and independent from my counseling sessions were there too.
So, though I felt like “I know it all” at times, it was quite enlightening to read about all those values that have been know to us all from the various sources of our growth, and which still get lost in the banalities of life.
Am I going to use these principles to make anything of my marriage? May be, may be not. That would all depend on my life state at the time of reckoning. But I would definitely try and change my life-state at that point in time. Live less of “Animality” and “Anger” and go to more of “Learning” and “Buddha hood”. It’s not going to be easy but I will try. It may not help the marriage, but it will help me and, hopefully, Neha too.
And I am going to recommend this book to some of my friends as well. That would be the “Bodhisattva” state! Hooray!!!
Thanks Vatssla. Thanks Mr. Dumas.
Read a chapter here
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Trinity
by Leon Uris
“All we have ever shared,” she said, “is a room, a bed and a little time. We have never shared the sunlight or the wind or the feel of rain. When we were together it was always so temporary we never had the time to be ourselves. Love can’t mature in one room.” “What happened”, he asked. “One night, I found myself laughing. I laughed and laughed until I had tears and pains in my side…..I talked to Blanche and told her about all the peculiar sensations I was going through and I asked her what was wrong with me. She said, ‘My God, Shelley, you’re just happy, that’s all”.
David Kimberley realized he had never made her happy. He had given her pleasure from time to time, but what they had shared really was flight from mutual disenchantment.
“…I’ve lived in limbo, Conor. Limbo is no place for a man to exist. Its living death, worse than death, praying for death.”
Atty neither budged nor acknowledged his presence. He played his fingertips down her back and over the curve of her hip. No response. He rolled away, onto his back. He knew she was awake, stuffing it in, would never show a tear. “You are mad at me and you’ve every right to be,” he said. “A little, not too much,” she answered.
“I don’t know what’s the matter with me. For three weeks, I’ve been looking forward day and night to seeing you…and then I go make a balls out of it”.
“It’s natural enough,” Atty said. “You’re all pent up with no one to let it out on. You’ve got to cut it lose on me, I suppose. I understand.”
“I don’t know how much of this guff you have to take,” he said. “Just because you get drunk once in a while, I’m not letting you go man. Besides, I’ve poor little pride where you’re concerned.”
“All we have ever shared,” she said, “is a room, a bed and a little time. We have never shared the sunlight or the wind or the feel of rain. When we were together it was always so temporary we never had the time to be ourselves. Love can’t mature in one room.” “What happened”, he asked. “One night, I found myself laughing. I laughed and laughed until I had tears and pains in my side…..I talked to Blanche and told her about all the peculiar sensations I was going through and I asked her what was wrong with me. She said, ‘My God, Shelley, you’re just happy, that’s all”.
David Kimberley realized he had never made her happy. He had given her pleasure from time to time, but what they had shared really was flight from mutual disenchantment.
“…I’ve lived in limbo, Conor. Limbo is no place for a man to exist. Its living death, worse than death, praying for death.”
Atty neither budged nor acknowledged his presence. He played his fingertips down her back and over the curve of her hip. No response. He rolled away, onto his back. He knew she was awake, stuffing it in, would never show a tear. “You are mad at me and you’ve every right to be,” he said. “A little, not too much,” she answered.
“I don’t know what’s the matter with me. For three weeks, I’ve been looking forward day and night to seeing you…and then I go make a balls out of it”.
“It’s natural enough,” Atty said. “You’re all pent up with no one to let it out on. You’ve got to cut it lose on me, I suppose. I understand.”
“I don’t know how much of this guff you have to take,” he said. “Just because you get drunk once in a while, I’m not letting you go man. Besides, I’ve poor little pride where you’re concerned.”
Monday, November 16, 2009
क्या ...
क्या तुमने बारिश की छांव देखी है?
....पतझड़ की सरसराहट सुनी है?
क्या तुमने बादलों को छुआ है?
....कोहरे से ख़ुद को भिगोया है?
....पतझड़ की सरसराहट सुनी है?
क्या तुमने बादलों को छुआ है?
....कोहरे से ख़ुद को भिगोया है?
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Bratislava
The capital of Slovakia is quite unlike a western European city, much less like a capital. People attribute that to the Communism that left the country 20 years ago.
It reminded me of a Delhi of about 20 years ago. Old buildings with peeling off paint, ground floors housing glossy shops while the upper floors look unkempt, smart boutiques propped up amidst debris, and a nice central district.
It was my first taste of an erstwhile communist country. With several permanent as well as moving exhibitions on, the city seemed to be stuck with an agenda of highlighting the communist evils of the entire Eastern Europe.
Another peculiar thing about the city was that the churches were mostly closed for renovation or just taking a break which is quite unusual. Plus throughout the city, there are sculptures – numerous random sculptures – modern art as well as statues and busts. They have a sculpture of a pair of women’s thigh length boots in the backyard of the president’s house!
And there is series of sculptures of “Cumil and friends” across the old town. These are statues of men in interesting poses – right from getting out of a manhole to being paparazzi.
Then, there is Petrazalka. A township built by the communist government to keep the people in the city. The biggest township in central Europe is blocks of paneled houses built on top of each other. Some of them are crumbling and some have received new cheerful colors to beat away the generally grey mood of the city. This place reminded of old DDA flats, only that these are much taller and more numerous housing about 200,000 people.
The vegetarian food is primarily based around potatoes and cheese. The best part of my weekend trip was the desserts – Sachertortes (sugar tortes – chocolate cakes with jam fillings), Tiramisus, apple pies and other versions of chocolate cakes – sheer bliss! Overall, it was a decent, fattening getaway for me.
It reminded me of a Delhi of about 20 years ago. Old buildings with peeling off paint, ground floors housing glossy shops while the upper floors look unkempt, smart boutiques propped up amidst debris, and a nice central district.
It was my first taste of an erstwhile communist country. With several permanent as well as moving exhibitions on, the city seemed to be stuck with an agenda of highlighting the communist evils of the entire Eastern Europe.
Another peculiar thing about the city was that the churches were mostly closed for renovation or just taking a break which is quite unusual. Plus throughout the city, there are sculptures – numerous random sculptures – modern art as well as statues and busts. They have a sculpture of a pair of women’s thigh length boots in the backyard of the president’s house!
And there is series of sculptures of “Cumil and friends” across the old town. These are statues of men in interesting poses – right from getting out of a manhole to being paparazzi.
Then, there is Petrazalka. A township built by the communist government to keep the people in the city. The biggest township in central Europe is blocks of paneled houses built on top of each other. Some of them are crumbling and some have received new cheerful colors to beat away the generally grey mood of the city. This place reminded of old DDA flats, only that these are much taller and more numerous housing about 200,000 people.
The vegetarian food is primarily based around potatoes and cheese. The best part of my weekend trip was the desserts – Sachertortes (sugar tortes – chocolate cakes with jam fillings), Tiramisus, apple pies and other versions of chocolate cakes – sheer bliss! Overall, it was a decent, fattening getaway for me.
Change…
As the weather was changing this fall, I happened to change a few things about my routine. I took up a workout package at work, went to learn a new dance style, changed my working hours, started eating my dinner earlier, a new language course etc. Seemingly minor changes in my lifestyle but they pulled me out of my comfort zone. I was delightfully surprised by the change.
Suddenly the life seems very busy – quite different from the slow paced monotone that I had fallen into. It was nice being stuck to my books, my running and my usual nothingness. After the hullabaloo in my life while in India, coming here had given me a chance to relax and ponder. But then I got too ponderous!
So, all this activity and buzz is a welcome change. Today, I did find myself longing for some relaxed time, but then I just smiled at that.
As the leaves changed color and the weather got colder, I seemed to find a new purpose. A welcome change!
Suddenly the life seems very busy – quite different from the slow paced monotone that I had fallen into. It was nice being stuck to my books, my running and my usual nothingness. After the hullabaloo in my life while in India, coming here had given me a chance to relax and ponder. But then I got too ponderous!
So, all this activity and buzz is a welcome change. Today, I did find myself longing for some relaxed time, but then I just smiled at that.
As the leaves changed color and the weather got colder, I seemed to find a new purpose. A welcome change!
Friday, October 9, 2009
Ein Zwei Drei Pause
The beat is Mambo, and the language is Deutsch. I am learning both.
I am not sure what really happened. This was not my plan. I was never keen on learning German. Heard a colleague of mine was enrolling, and the next thing I knew was I had enrolled too! Just like that!!!
At 150 Euros, 2 classes a week from 7:45 to 9:15 PM, for 15 weeks - that is the program. It is amazing fun! The class has 5 Indian, 3 Iranian, 2 English students along with 1 each from South Africa, Russia, Poland, Italy, Vietnam and Sudan! And a German born Russian as a teacher. What a potpourri!
It is so amusing to learn, or rather re-learn, nay unlearn and learn, the alphabet. Most of it sounds the same as English alphabet but with a different ending sound, and with 4 extra sounds thrown in. In English, most consonants ends with the “e” sound – B, C, D etc. In Deutsch the alphabet “e” is pronounced as “ei” and everything ends with “ei”…..OK that’s a rule of the language I just discovered while writing this post. The 3 of the 4 extra sounds are the umlauts – ä, ü and ö, which are difficult to pronounce cause the tongue should be in the mouth somewhere midway to the regular a, u and o sounds. (Oh, stop trying that, silly!) The 4th sound is the etzet – ß. No it’s not beta but has the use of a double ess.
The verbs are funny too. Well, actually not. Its just that the normal constructs of the two languages that I know are so much DNAed now that when I was told that Deutsch has three verb forms - masculine, feminine and neutral, my jaw dropped at the imagined complexity. Only later I realized that I have been doing the three forms of verbs forever and this one is no different.
So, the classes have made me look at languages in a different light.
The students are funny. There is this Iranian chap – Muhammad, who has been speaking only Persian all his life and now suddenly has to deal with strange characters as alphabets and an alien language. Poor thing cannot read “a” from “b” but is required to spell them all out. He is such an entertainment – repeats the teacher’s words every time – even when he is asked a question. Even said “Ich heiße Alex” because that’s what the teacher had said when introducing himself! He makes such blunders that the class looks forward to his turn for speaking out the lesson just taught. He knows that he is blundering and takes all of it with such a charming smile that all of us can only laugh even when it takes eons to get a single correct sentence out of him!
Then there is the Polish woman who is just slow. No offence, but she just doesn’t seem to get it. When she is asked a question in Deutsch, first she looks at the teacher, pauses, squints her eye, cranes her neck, looks at her notes, looks at the teacher from the top of her glasses, and gives up. The teacher prods with some hints and the lady mouths the question that she was asked. This happens each single time she is asked a question.
In Deutsch, V has the same sound as English F. So Vornamme is pronounced as fore-namm-e and means Forename. When the English woman was asked her vornamme, she began thus – “Mein phone nummer ist drei null null….” And the teacher went “but I didn’t ask for your phone number!”
Depending on the numbers people want to practice, they decide to have a different number of “kinder” (kids) and “geschwistern” (siblings) each day. Also some of them are married one day and “nicht verheiratet” (not married) the other!
So, it’s a crazy and fun bunch. I am having a lot of fun learning a new language, more than I imagined, and my learning gene that had almost gone extinct feels rejuvenated!
Now, talking about the Mambo…..
Do not jump to say “Mambo No. 5”. People, Mambo is a style of music and also a style of dance belonging to the same family as Salsa and Cha Cha, only a tad slower. It pauses on the 4th beat and hence the pause – One Two Three Pause!
This was not as much of an impulsive decision as the Deutsch lessons but it is fun still.
Imagine being in a small sized disc with a tall single-filamented trainer resembling an ostrich’s neck wearing a shirt patterned so as to make a peacock pouting pink, surrounded by cooing couples, old round bottomed women in tight pants, bespectacled bald gents, giggling girls, and me - standing in the middle scratching my head. Get the picture? I don’t blame you for guffawing out loud.
Ok, its not so bad. There are some pretty, single ladies and I got invited for extra classes by the trainer because he did not have enough men to go with the women. Are you laughing still?
Haven’t yet learnt much. Only the basic front and back step, and one swing. In salsa, the man pushes himself on to the woman, the woman retracts a bit and pushes the man back….In mambo, the man pulls the woman to himself, pauses and then pushes. So it’s a lot of pulls and pushes with underlying sexual innuendos. There – that was Latin dance forms de-mystified for you.
But all that happens with professional people. In the motley group that I am in, when expected to dance, people march, sway, look heavenwards or downwards concentrating hard, and pretend to enjoy. And being the in-love place that this is, couples kiss each other at the end of each step as if they have accomplished a major feat that deserves celebration. Singles like me just pout and look at the corners of the room.
But the music is so upbeat. It is very sad that my dance gene resides in my neck and not in my feet. So, when the tempo increases and the music encourages movement, my neck gets a life of its own and my head goes berserk with one two three pause. The pause reminds me I forgot to move my feet. Hence I am always late. Well….I always knew I wasn’t cut for disciplined dancing. Though the world tells me that at the end of the discipline lies fun, I am too impatient and too Bollywood-bred to care much for the subtleties of hinted coitus. I’d rather do the pelvic thursts full on.
Oh wait, the music just changed and I should be doing ein zwei drei pause….
I am not sure what really happened. This was not my plan. I was never keen on learning German. Heard a colleague of mine was enrolling, and the next thing I knew was I had enrolled too! Just like that!!!
At 150 Euros, 2 classes a week from 7:45 to 9:15 PM, for 15 weeks - that is the program. It is amazing fun! The class has 5 Indian, 3 Iranian, 2 English students along with 1 each from South Africa, Russia, Poland, Italy, Vietnam and Sudan! And a German born Russian as a teacher. What a potpourri!
It is so amusing to learn, or rather re-learn, nay unlearn and learn, the alphabet. Most of it sounds the same as English alphabet but with a different ending sound, and with 4 extra sounds thrown in. In English, most consonants ends with the “e” sound – B, C, D etc. In Deutsch the alphabet “e” is pronounced as “ei” and everything ends with “ei”…..OK that’s a rule of the language I just discovered while writing this post. The 3 of the 4 extra sounds are the umlauts – ä, ü and ö, which are difficult to pronounce cause the tongue should be in the mouth somewhere midway to the regular a, u and o sounds. (Oh, stop trying that, silly!) The 4th sound is the etzet – ß. No it’s not beta but has the use of a double ess.
The verbs are funny too. Well, actually not. Its just that the normal constructs of the two languages that I know are so much DNAed now that when I was told that Deutsch has three verb forms - masculine, feminine and neutral, my jaw dropped at the imagined complexity. Only later I realized that I have been doing the three forms of verbs forever and this one is no different.
So, the classes have made me look at languages in a different light.
The students are funny. There is this Iranian chap – Muhammad, who has been speaking only Persian all his life and now suddenly has to deal with strange characters as alphabets and an alien language. Poor thing cannot read “a” from “b” but is required to spell them all out. He is such an entertainment – repeats the teacher’s words every time – even when he is asked a question. Even said “Ich heiße Alex” because that’s what the teacher had said when introducing himself! He makes such blunders that the class looks forward to his turn for speaking out the lesson just taught. He knows that he is blundering and takes all of it with such a charming smile that all of us can only laugh even when it takes eons to get a single correct sentence out of him!
Then there is the Polish woman who is just slow. No offence, but she just doesn’t seem to get it. When she is asked a question in Deutsch, first she looks at the teacher, pauses, squints her eye, cranes her neck, looks at her notes, looks at the teacher from the top of her glasses, and gives up. The teacher prods with some hints and the lady mouths the question that she was asked. This happens each single time she is asked a question.
In Deutsch, V has the same sound as English F. So Vornamme is pronounced as fore-namm-e and means Forename. When the English woman was asked her vornamme, she began thus – “Mein phone nummer ist drei null null….” And the teacher went “but I didn’t ask for your phone number!”
Depending on the numbers people want to practice, they decide to have a different number of “kinder” (kids) and “geschwistern” (siblings) each day. Also some of them are married one day and “nicht verheiratet” (not married) the other!
So, it’s a crazy and fun bunch. I am having a lot of fun learning a new language, more than I imagined, and my learning gene that had almost gone extinct feels rejuvenated!
Now, talking about the Mambo…..
Do not jump to say “Mambo No. 5”. People, Mambo is a style of music and also a style of dance belonging to the same family as Salsa and Cha Cha, only a tad slower. It pauses on the 4th beat and hence the pause – One Two Three Pause!
This was not as much of an impulsive decision as the Deutsch lessons but it is fun still.
Imagine being in a small sized disc with a tall single-filamented trainer resembling an ostrich’s neck wearing a shirt patterned so as to make a peacock pouting pink, surrounded by cooing couples, old round bottomed women in tight pants, bespectacled bald gents, giggling girls, and me - standing in the middle scratching my head. Get the picture? I don’t blame you for guffawing out loud.
Ok, its not so bad. There are some pretty, single ladies and I got invited for extra classes by the trainer because he did not have enough men to go with the women. Are you laughing still?
Haven’t yet learnt much. Only the basic front and back step, and one swing. In salsa, the man pushes himself on to the woman, the woman retracts a bit and pushes the man back….In mambo, the man pulls the woman to himself, pauses and then pushes. So it’s a lot of pulls and pushes with underlying sexual innuendos. There – that was Latin dance forms de-mystified for you.
But all that happens with professional people. In the motley group that I am in, when expected to dance, people march, sway, look heavenwards or downwards concentrating hard, and pretend to enjoy. And being the in-love place that this is, couples kiss each other at the end of each step as if they have accomplished a major feat that deserves celebration. Singles like me just pout and look at the corners of the room.
But the music is so upbeat. It is very sad that my dance gene resides in my neck and not in my feet. So, when the tempo increases and the music encourages movement, my neck gets a life of its own and my head goes berserk with one two three pause. The pause reminds me I forgot to move my feet. Hence I am always late. Well….I always knew I wasn’t cut for disciplined dancing. Though the world tells me that at the end of the discipline lies fun, I am too impatient and too Bollywood-bred to care much for the subtleties of hinted coitus. I’d rather do the pelvic thursts full on.
Oh wait, the music just changed and I should be doing ein zwei drei pause….
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Oktoberfest
The annual beer drinking festival in Munich actually happens in September, and ends on the first Sunday of October!
I landed there on a sunny afternoon, in traditional Bavarian attire – Lederhose and Jacket, with boots to boot! What a crowd!!!
Beautiful women in amazing dresses – also traditional – but fashionable still; amazing burst of color everywhere; and never ending one-liter mugs of beer! Of course you cannot blame the men for the little hooliganism that is bound to happen.
The festival place is close to the hauptbahnhof and you just have to follow the crowd to end up there. Traditional German Festival shops selling food and attire are the first thing that you’d notice. These are interspersed by rides – not the usual Mary-Go-Rounds but their more thrilling versions. This time even the free fall ride was present.
After you take in the enormous crowd, you’d notice the never ending “beer tents” which are really high roofed sheds, each stretching over almost a football field or may be more. Each brewery or ‘brauhaus’ has one and all of them are jam packed. Queuing begins for each of them as early as 7 AM and if you are lucky you can get in afterwards. I could not.
So I did the next best thing – got into a “beergarten” – which is the area in front of the tent. It’s almost the same as the tent only that it is in open and minus the live music! There are scores of benches and tables lined up, each served by a dedicated waiter. So, you just plop yourself on one of these and start guzzling.
Imagine a table with absolute strangers who begin talking with you immediately in a babble of all foreign tongues imaginable. My table had a Spanish, a German, a French, two Italians, two Chinese and several others a bit further way to which my only contact remained “Prost” – the Deutsch for cheers! Thankfully I had a Radler to drink - it looks like beer, is served similarly, has 2% alcohol, and is a saving grace on a table where you do not belong if you are not drinking!
One has to be there to know just how contagious the air is! With beer that is 8% alcohol and with drinking being the ONLY thing to do, people turn into such characters that you get entertained full on! There is singing, dancing, hugging, smooching, jumping, yelling, guffawing – merry-making full blast. Someone starts singing on one table, some one else joins in from two tables away and suddenly everyone is bellowing the same song. I yay-ed to the German lyrics which seem filled with a lot of Ale, Ole and similar non-words so that I did not feel too lost for words. I envied the people who were inside the tents. I did try getting in, but was not lucky. So I got back to my multinational table.
Yes, amid all this there is a little unpleasantness sometimes when some one too drunk or a brawly guy has to be evicted by security personnel. This happens pronto and people go back to their beer mugs. And when they get tired of drinking, they go out to one of the numerous lawns/gardens in the city to sleep some. You can see scores of people lying everywhere in all states of inebriation. And well, vomit is also a common sight!
I had a great day, and hopefully I can go there again next year. Now since I know the fun first hand, I’d be looking forward to the Oktoberfest 2010.
I landed there on a sunny afternoon, in traditional Bavarian attire – Lederhose and Jacket, with boots to boot! What a crowd!!!
Beautiful women in amazing dresses – also traditional – but fashionable still; amazing burst of color everywhere; and never ending one-liter mugs of beer! Of course you cannot blame the men for the little hooliganism that is bound to happen.
The festival place is close to the hauptbahnhof and you just have to follow the crowd to end up there. Traditional German Festival shops selling food and attire are the first thing that you’d notice. These are interspersed by rides – not the usual Mary-Go-Rounds but their more thrilling versions. This time even the free fall ride was present.
After you take in the enormous crowd, you’d notice the never ending “beer tents” which are really high roofed sheds, each stretching over almost a football field or may be more. Each brewery or ‘brauhaus’ has one and all of them are jam packed. Queuing begins for each of them as early as 7 AM and if you are lucky you can get in afterwards. I could not.
So I did the next best thing – got into a “beergarten” – which is the area in front of the tent. It’s almost the same as the tent only that it is in open and minus the live music! There are scores of benches and tables lined up, each served by a dedicated waiter. So, you just plop yourself on one of these and start guzzling.
Imagine a table with absolute strangers who begin talking with you immediately in a babble of all foreign tongues imaginable. My table had a Spanish, a German, a French, two Italians, two Chinese and several others a bit further way to which my only contact remained “Prost” – the Deutsch for cheers! Thankfully I had a Radler to drink - it looks like beer, is served similarly, has 2% alcohol, and is a saving grace on a table where you do not belong if you are not drinking!
One has to be there to know just how contagious the air is! With beer that is 8% alcohol and with drinking being the ONLY thing to do, people turn into such characters that you get entertained full on! There is singing, dancing, hugging, smooching, jumping, yelling, guffawing – merry-making full blast. Someone starts singing on one table, some one else joins in from two tables away and suddenly everyone is bellowing the same song. I yay-ed to the German lyrics which seem filled with a lot of Ale, Ole and similar non-words so that I did not feel too lost for words. I envied the people who were inside the tents. I did try getting in, but was not lucky. So I got back to my multinational table.
Yes, amid all this there is a little unpleasantness sometimes when some one too drunk or a brawly guy has to be evicted by security personnel. This happens pronto and people go back to their beer mugs. And when they get tired of drinking, they go out to one of the numerous lawns/gardens in the city to sleep some. You can see scores of people lying everywhere in all states of inebriation. And well, vomit is also a common sight!
I had a great day, and hopefully I can go there again next year. Now since I know the fun first hand, I’d be looking forward to the Oktoberfest 2010.
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