The day I jumped from an airplane

Whenever I had heard people talk about sky diving or seen the pictures of their bravado, I called them foolish for risking their life.

But here I was on the train to Osterburken, an unknown town somewhere in central Germany, with ten of my colleagues all waiting to take the dive. I was shit scared.

This trip was a dual challenge for me. I was to be in company that I knew little about and didn’t exactly look forward to because I had imagined them to be bawdy. And we were to camp – away from my warm, cozy bed. But I took the challenge – primarily to prove to myself that I am ‘fun’ still!

We arrived at Osterburken and met Alex – a short skinny fellow who seemed more like a tour guide to me. He indeed drove us to the Southside Base – the adventure sport company. It was cloudy and windy and I missed by bed on the Saturday morning.

Before me lay a small field and a quaint, little white airplane. We thought it was a dummy and the real plane would be in a hangar somewhere close by. But soon we woke up to the fact that this white dove was to be our stead indeed. And the airstrip? What airstrip? The plane taxis on the field and has to be in the air because it reaches the hill’s edge. I was so shit scared, I smirked!

In about an hour, we signed on papers that said that we knew we were putting our lives in danger and that the company or the guide will not be responsible for any damage that may happen to us during the flight, the jump and the landing and the that we understood we could die! Also, no turning back once you are in the plane. And all of this at a cost of 300 Euros to be in the air for 5 minutes. Then they trained us about the positions and the techniques, about the dos and the don’ts. I was so scared, I asked stupid questions like “can I shout when I am falling?”

Suddenly the weather cleared up and the two people who had volunteered to be the first to jump were in their jump suits. Smart and harnessed, they waved and smiled and posed for the cameras. It turns out that Alex the minnow is an expert diver and will be the main video-grapher for the day, while two sturdy divers will be the tandem experts – that will actually jump with us.

Off they went – huddled into the white contraption that spluttered and choked and shook as it gained speed. Several divers and two of ours. We cheered them and waved and clicked their pictures. Then we waited for the twenty minutes that we were told it will take the plane to get to the 4000 mtrs. from where the jump would happen. We craned our necks each time we heard the roar of the plane and tried to spot it among the clouds. At the promised time we were all looking heavenwards with gaping mouths for them to fall.

And suddenly spots appeared on the clouds. Purple and blue and orange and red and white on a backdrop of grey clouds. We cheered as we spotted the parachutes and waved and clicked like excited children.

Our two heroes were the last ones to make their landing and we watched keenly their landing technique. They waved and we shouted back. They came back looking like Top Gun heroes. I was excited but scared still.

Then the next pair was suited but the weather went bad. Then we waited. It started to drizzle and we waited. It cleared but we waited still cause the Met said it was too windy to fly the small plane. We waited and got hungry. We ate quickly fixed sandwiches while the first pair was happy to have made their jump. We ate and we waited. But the weather kept playing truant.

Then it cleared. The next flight was announced (yes – German orderliness) but only one of us could take that flight cause there were several other divers. We cheered the girl on and repeated the same routine as with the first pair. We were happy to see her arrive back but she did not open her legs well while landing and it was bad. She landed first rather than the tandem guide, who actually rolled over the poor little thing. She had three fractures and was rushed to the hospital. I was so scared, I gave up the idea.

The weather worsened and the plane was rolled back into the hangar. I checked the time for the train back home and realized it will leave in two hours’ time. I announced that I was bored of waiting and would return by the next train. Some of my colleagues tried to cajole me to stay the night and do the jump the next day, but I had had enough of the challenge already!

About thirty minutes before I was to leave, skies cleared and out came the plane. They started the dives again. One of my colleagues convinced me to wait till the last train at 10 PM. I cursed my luck – not knowing to be happy cause I could possibly make the jump or to be sad cause I was scared and was hoping to run away!

One after the other they kept going and jumping and arriving with smiles and stories:
“It feels amazing”, “better than any intoxication”, “be careful, else you fall backwards”, “the harness gets very tight and crushes your balls”, “It doesn’t feel like you are flying”, “my arm went numb”, “its scary when you look down” – each narration left me more edgy than the previous one. And I hoped the weather would go bad again. I was so scared I jumped up and down and went to the toilette without having had much to drink.

I imagined the fall into nothingness; the failures I have had on a few of the adventures I had tried earlier; the effect on the human body if it would hit ground after a fall from 4 kms; the plane going wrong; the hooks that tie to the guide coming off; the earth rushing to you….. I wanted to run away!

Then my turn came and I decided to block it all away. I just took it as a chore and got to business – got into my suit and harness, smiled for the camera, got my last instructions, Yay-ed to my friends, and went into the plane.

As I sat in there, the plane jerked and moved forward and got into the air quite effortlessly. I saw rolling hills, and brown wheat fields, tall wind mills and green pine forests. But I avoided looking out the window and kept making small talk to my guide and the partner. I smiled at the videographer while Alex the minnow dozed off! I was like “OMG! Can I run away now?” But I smiled and looked at the altimeter. It was only half the journey. I looked down a little bit and smiled and looked back into the plane.

After a while, my tandem told me it was two minutes to go and he got hooked me up into his suit. The door opened…and I flew!

When I landed back I jumped for joy several times and called up everyone that I could, to tell them I had jumped from a plane!!!

When I flew…

There was a gush of cold wind as the airplane door opened. There was a layer of clouds down below and the sun shone brightly somewhere. The couple who sat right next to the door, kissed, held hands and were gone. The video-grapher was next but he merely held on to the rod that connected the wing to the body of the plane. Just then, my tandem guide asked me to get to the door and I was there.

A glance at the clouds below, and a shudder of terror later, I was in the banana position – face upwards, hands on the harness, elbows back, legs down and out of the door. I heard the count and before I knew it – we were out.

Zoop!

Out into the blue sky, out at four thousand meters above sea level, out into the cold air, out above the clouds!

Though I went out face down, the guide took a turn and I was falling on my back. Then we twisted and I was falling face down again – all of this in an instant. The instant that I knew would come. I was terrified I think, but it ended so soon that it did not register then.

And then I was falling down to the earth, accelerating and gaining speed every single moment. That is when I started flying. My tandem signaled me to let go of my harness and I spread my arms. That’s when I said “Shit!”
Bad word at the right moment.

I fell and flew with the blue sky above me and the white cotton of clouds stretching below me. Then I was in the clouds. When, as a kid, I had morphed them into tiny elephants and giant mynahs, into devils and into angels; I had never imagined I will touch them all with my two hands. And now I did.

It was white or was it grey? Or was it just misty? It surely was dreamy.

I saw the smiling face of the videographer in front of me. I smiled back and the only way I could express my joy was by two thumbs-up – something that seemed the only way to express my exhilaration. While we were in the clouds, and while I was grinning ear to ear, the speed had increased enough to make my cheeks sway with a life of their own.

Just then the clouds disappeared and I saw earth rushing to me – fields, trees, buildings all closing in rapidly. A tap on the shoulder told me what was coming and my harness tightened. The parachute was engaged! From 190 km/h down to 19km/h in a second may be, at 1500 meters above sea level. We had had a free fall of 2500 meters in about 50 seconds! The videographer, who had skillfully stayed in the clouds for a bit to record this event, zooped past us without his canopy deployed yet.

That’s when I said “Fuck!”
The amazing scenery below me and the stupendous vista in front is beyond words, and hence the swearing.

The evening sun rays came through the clouds and lit up the ground, while the clouds cast their shadow right next. The rain that was falling somewhere far away drew a grey curtain and beside that was the vast expense of green forest - a magnificent display of nature’s elements, at full glory. I could have stayed there forever.

My tandem got me back to reality as he made me practice the landing position and made me held the strings of the now gliding canopy. We turned a few times in the air at super speed and then it was time to land.

When the signal came I held my legs at 90 degrees to my torso and we landed at the patch of grass marked out for us with amazing precision and my feet scraped against the earth to bring us to a halt. The friendly videographer was right there waiting for us. I smiled and the thumbs went up again.

That is when I jumped for joy and shouted out to my friends!

I know how flying feels.

Midnight's Children

The book that got Salman Rushdie his Booker Prize in 1981 is about Saleem who was born at the stroke of midnight when India came into existence. Several hundred children were born through that night and were bestowed with some extra-ordinary powers. Though the book revolves around the protagonist (because it is set as his auto-biography), the narrative visits most of these special children through the very special telepathic powers that Saleem had.

When I realized the connection between the country’s origin and Saleem’s, I assumed there will be parallels drawn between the two and that one’s progress will reflect the other’s journey. May be it did, but thanks to Rushdie’s writing style, which I found cryptic at places, any similarities were lost on me unless they were brought out very explicitly. May be there was a general downward trend described – Saleem was in a rich household but grew poor as the country grew more chaotic! Parts of the book were full of fantasy, there is treachery and loose morals, there is love and acceptance, there is forgiveness, parts are dirty and ancient, and characters are diverse – much like the country.

I found the book entertaining for the most part. It actually begins with Saleem’s grandfather in Kashmir during pre-independence because Rushdie wants us to believe in the cosmic connections between Saleem’s grandfather’s patients and his subsequent failure in life. Saleem’s childhood shenanigans, Bombay city descriptions etc. were very lively and kept me engrossed. His bristle with Bombay film industry that makes his life akin to a potboiler was fun. But towards the end, I found the book becoming tedious. Was that intentional? Was it reflective of Saleem’s own state becoming murkier and difficult.( This actually reminds me of the other Rushdie novel – ‘Shalimar the Clown’ in which the Kashmiri part of the story was poetic and serene and the California part was digital and complex)

Did I imagine misogyny? Did I imagine blasphemy? Did I imagine immorality? Or was it all just human?

Bamberg

This historical town is touted as Little Venice because of part of the altestadt, (the old town) is between the river Regnitz and the Main-Donau canal (the same canal that passes by my appartment), and there are several bridges crisscrossing on both sides.

The town is about 30 minutes from my place by train and cost me 10 bucks for a day trip. I carried my bicycle along on the train (at 4 euros extra). The day was forecasted to be cloudy as most of this summer is turning out to be. But since I was bored of being at home, I took the risk.

As I cycled through the town, the fragrance of flowers was very refreshing. And the cloudy weather actually helped because it made cycling more pleasurable.

The town was abuzz with activity – typical of a summer afternoon in a European town I think. People were out and there were a lot of tourists. The market was choc-a-bloc with people and roadside restaurants had spilled on the roads which, as usual, are blocked to automobiles.

After parking my bike by a church, I explored the town on foot – the famous Alterathaus is perched atop the island between the rivers and is quite a sight with one wall painted in Renaissance style. Someone actually got ingenious and sculpted a painted cherub’s leg out from the wall. See pictures below.

The main church – The Imperial Cathedral or the Kaiserdom, has been in place since the eleventh century and has been rebuilt several times. It seemed like a typical German Catholic church to me. But I saw a cavalcade of leathered motor-bikers wearing their “don’t-mess-with-me” attitude gathering around the church. Later, the priest of the church had a service for them – outside the church. I wondered if the bikers needed the service more or the souls of the bikes themselves. Some of the bikes were antiques and some straight out of Fast and Furious!

After a strenuous climb, I reached the St. Michael Convent. The tiny windows of the nun’s cells appeared like boxes piled up on top of each other. Also, since its on top of a hill, the rose-garden next to the Convent gives a good view of the town of Bamberg.

After ice-cream and coffee in a nice café, I covered the St. Michael church and also the St. Stephan’s church. The latter is a Lutheran church and is different because of its Protestant style. Seemed more modern to my untrained eyes and I liked it.

After the pilgrimage, I realized that the town can indulge you in more worldly pleasures – Orgasms and Blow Jobs are available for as little as 2.90 Euros! See pictures!

I enjoyed my (still) vegetarian meal of grilled fetter cheese with lots of olives and started the journey back. Just then, the rains started!

Paused

Plans
Procreation
Passion

Trips
Thoughts
Tales

Ambition
Amour
All strangely paused
As time passes by….