Man and Boy

by Tony Parsons


What could I tell her? You don’t tell a wife that some inanimate object somehow represents all those things you know you are never going to have. The places you are never going to see, the women you are never going to love, the things you are never going to do. You cant tell a wife all that stuff. Not even a wife you love very much. Especially not a wife like that.

- -

The reason most men stray is opportunity, and the joy of meaningless sex should never be underestimated. It had been a meaningless, opportunistic coupling. That’s what I had liked most about it.
What I liked least about it was that already I was starting to feel like a traitor.
But all the time I was with Siobhan, while half of me thought that this was probably the woman I hadn’t realized I had been looking for all my life, the other half of me sort of missed my wife. I missed the easy familiarity you get with someone who you have been with for years. If I was going to be unfaithful, then I kind of wished it could have been with Gina, my wife.

- -

Love is what’s left when being in love is gone. It’s when you care about someone and you hope they are happy, but you are not under any illusions about them. May be that kind of love is not exciting and passionate and all those things that fade with time. All those things that you are so keen on. But in the end it’s the only kind of love that really matters.
- -

‘You think you want someone who can transform your life with love. But you really don’t want love, Harry. You couldn’t handle real love. You want romance.’
Her words were made worse, much worse, by the fact that they were said with enormous tenderness. There was no anger or malice in them. It was as if she felt genuinely sorry for me.
‘And that’s fine. That’s the way you are and in a lot of ways it’s a good way to be. But it would never work between us because you can’t make the hearts and flowers stuff last for a lifetime. Not with kids around. Especially when they are not your own.’
- -


‘But you have to learn to let go. Its part of of what it means to love someone. To really lose someone. If you love someone then you don’t just see them as an extension of yourself. You don’t just love them for what’s in it for you. Love means knowing when to let go.

This is something I had heard my own mother say, and I am amazed by this insight she had when I was little, being so far removed from anything that was remotely modern.

- -

He dropped his bike and came to my arms, pressing his face against me, overwhelming me with what felt like the very essence of him. He filled my senses – his unruly mop of blond hair, his impossible smooth skin, that Pat small of dirt and sugar. My beautiful son, I thought, tasting the salt of our tears.

- -


A feeling that I have always longed for, but may never get to experience.

Man and Boy – a delightful book. Highly recommended.