Mindless Bollywood montage, served Chinese Noodle style. The movie puts together the latest Bollywood fad of revisiting its past along with Chinese made products in an attempt to lure a bigger market.
The story could have been set like Chandni Chowk to Cooch Bihar – but Bollywood has visited the hinterlands of Bihar forever. Plus its time to bring in the exotic. Hence off we are taken to a village next to The Wall.
You have a separated family that visits the same place a la Amar Akbar Anthony and Yaadon Ki Baraat; you get to see bandits descending on a village in the middle of a song and dance a la Sholay; you are served emotional atyachaar in the form of long dialogs along with kung-fu achaar.
You also have a myriad of Chinese products that actually work - translating on the fly and doubling up as parachutes and bullet proof umbrellas.
A neat experiment. Decently enjoyable if you leave logic behind (aren’t we all adept at that already?!)
By the way, Deepika rocks.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Reality ravaged the romance
There wasn’t a familiar face. There wasn’t anybody waiting. No open arms to rush into.
Instead I found friends who had forgotten the dates of my arrival, phone calls that went unanswered cause my number was new and then some excuses.
It was unpleasant as my enthusiasm died down in the never ending traffic. As I woke up to the fact that life has gone on while I was gone, I wondered why I was there!
The home front was a battle, full of stress. I tried to squeeze in some pleasure – a few breaths of normalcy.
My vacations felt vacant.
Only later when I let go of expectations and donned the practical outlook did I get some solace and had some fun.
Lesson learnt.
Instead I found friends who had forgotten the dates of my arrival, phone calls that went unanswered cause my number was new and then some excuses.
It was unpleasant as my enthusiasm died down in the never ending traffic. As I woke up to the fact that life has gone on while I was gone, I wondered why I was there!
The home front was a battle, full of stress. I tried to squeeze in some pleasure – a few breaths of normalcy.
My vacations felt vacant.
Only later when I let go of expectations and donned the practical outlook did I get some solace and had some fun.
Lesson learnt.
Dilli meri jaan
Mist rolling on the long smooth roads. Cozy winter sunshine.
Coffee cups. Parathas at road side dhaba.
Golgappe. Til sakree. Moongphali.
Thirakte kadam, wo behake kadam.
Pretty people. Dazzling décor.
Making of the Metro. Glass facades of majestic buildings.
Huge malls. Lots of shopping.
FM stations. Street hawkers. Moving traffic following lanes. VIP movement.
Such is Delhi.
Coffee cups. Parathas at road side dhaba.
Golgappe. Til sakree. Moongphali.
Thirakte kadam, wo behake kadam.
Pretty people. Dazzling décor.
Making of the Metro. Glass facades of majestic buildings.
Huge malls. Lots of shopping.
FM stations. Street hawkers. Moving traffic following lanes. VIP movement.
Such is Delhi.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Office Sport
I have seen it earlier and I see it played competitively these days. Usually men at work play this game, but women join in too. And the serious players play it with as much vengeance as noticed on any playground.
The difference here is that the game is played solo and most often in front of computer screens.
The name of the game is ‘dig your nose’!
The players look very attentively at their screens and their fingers suddenly spring to a life of their own. They go up and round, and round and up, drilling for boogers. Once the catch is found, it is rolled into balls with equal relish, presented for inspection and then thrown away. After a few minutes of recovery from the orgasm, the search begins again.
The occupational hazard of the game is that the player may get caught while fingering himself (yes, pun intended). And then depending upon the levels of the maturity, he or she may turn a scarlet red (a rarity) or may just let the hand stop for a while (happens all the time). But connoisseurs of the sport definitely go back to it with unabated fervor.
Yes. I stopped shaking hands a long time ago.
The difference here is that the game is played solo and most often in front of computer screens.
The name of the game is ‘dig your nose’!
The players look very attentively at their screens and their fingers suddenly spring to a life of their own. They go up and round, and round and up, drilling for boogers. Once the catch is found, it is rolled into balls with equal relish, presented for inspection and then thrown away. After a few minutes of recovery from the orgasm, the search begins again.
The occupational hazard of the game is that the player may get caught while fingering himself (yes, pun intended). And then depending upon the levels of the maturity, he or she may turn a scarlet red (a rarity) or may just let the hand stop for a while (happens all the time). But connoisseurs of the sport definitely go back to it with unabated fervor.
Yes. I stopped shaking hands a long time ago.
Sorry Bhai
This movie has zero of Sanjay Suri, a little bit of Sharman Joshi and too much of Chitrangada Singh (like her long name). Sharman has grown as an actor.
But the movie belongs to Shabana Azmi and Boman Irani. They are fun. Shabana’s character as the controlling mother is well etched out and played very well. Made me think of my mother on so many occasions.
And the movie made me miss my family. I became painfully aware of what I have lost.
But the movie belongs to Shabana Azmi and Boman Irani. They are fun. Shabana’s character as the controlling mother is well etched out and played very well. Made me think of my mother on so many occasions.
And the movie made me miss my family. I became painfully aware of what I have lost.
Oye Lucky, Lucky Oye
The one thing this movie captured very well was the street smartness of the typical North Indian thug. And juxtaposed it equally well with the streets of western UP and the life that thrives there.
A bit confusing at times for the usual Bollywood junkie bred on deathly detailing, it isn’t great cinema but is a fun one-time watch. Abhay Deol lives the part easily and Paresh Rawal dons different characters deftly.
A bit confusing at times for the usual Bollywood junkie bred on deathly detailing, it isn’t great cinema but is a fun one-time watch. Abhay Deol lives the part easily and Paresh Rawal dons different characters deftly.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
A Gross Post
As the title hints, this one is gross and may not go down well with the readers. So, please stop reading here if you are not into scat.
If you are still reading this, I will try and use language that is in-offensive. For starters, let me clarify that I am not into scat – or into excrement of any sort. But the German commodes have brought me to this level. I am not sure if there is something necessarily German about these commodes – but I have not seen this design anywhere else.
The middle part of these commodes is reversed from the usual ones The normal means the only ones I had seen so far. So, right below your bum is the temporary resting place for your turds. And the usual hole-of-water is in the front. So you can clearly see your dirty deeds wash down the drain. (Gosh, I feel pathetic writing this. But I have to get this off my chest as I have been living with this post since September).
Now, before you actually flush your stuff away you will have to sit a few inches above it, while bowel smells waft around and warm your exposed bum. You have to be so alert that as soon as it drops, you must turn around and flush it away. Clearly it needs some nimble handiwork too, to be able to turn around and hit the button while you are still in the middle of the act. But if you don’t show that dexterity, you have to sit on your shit.
Trouble happens when you have been eating healthy and trouble happens when the tummy is upset. If you are healthy the shit is healthy too (holy mother of cow!) and takes several flushes to even budge from its throne. The aerodynamics come on practical display here so well – there is this oblong thing lying and not moving at all because the water flow is in the same direction. And you flush and you flush. The small flush and the big flush. Then you wait it to refill and you flush some more. But the diva or the big bully (that depends on the size) refuses to budge. Then you just sit helplessly curling up your nose and cursing the designer of the commode. What on earth were he/she thinking when they designed it - that people will happily sit and smell their shit?
And when you do only the small number, you have to aim really well else the collected puddle in the middle raises hell and gets everything else wet.
As I traveled around here a bit more and went to some more bathrooms, I realized that this was an old design and the new ones that they use are the regular ones. But sadly I live in a building that is older than me and I sit on a commode that is from another era.
There, I have said it. Now if you are disgusted, picture me each morning!
And get disgusted some more.
If you are still reading this, I will try and use language that is in-offensive. For starters, let me clarify that I am not into scat – or into excrement of any sort. But the German commodes have brought me to this level. I am not sure if there is something necessarily German about these commodes – but I have not seen this design anywhere else.
The middle part of these commodes is reversed from the usual ones The normal means the only ones I had seen so far. So, right below your bum is the temporary resting place for your turds. And the usual hole-of-water is in the front. So you can clearly see your dirty deeds wash down the drain. (Gosh, I feel pathetic writing this. But I have to get this off my chest as I have been living with this post since September).
Now, before you actually flush your stuff away you will have to sit a few inches above it, while bowel smells waft around and warm your exposed bum. You have to be so alert that as soon as it drops, you must turn around and flush it away. Clearly it needs some nimble handiwork too, to be able to turn around and hit the button while you are still in the middle of the act. But if you don’t show that dexterity, you have to sit on your shit.
Trouble happens when you have been eating healthy and trouble happens when the tummy is upset. If you are healthy the shit is healthy too (holy mother of cow!) and takes several flushes to even budge from its throne. The aerodynamics come on practical display here so well – there is this oblong thing lying and not moving at all because the water flow is in the same direction. And you flush and you flush. The small flush and the big flush. Then you wait it to refill and you flush some more. But the diva or the big bully (that depends on the size) refuses to budge. Then you just sit helplessly curling up your nose and cursing the designer of the commode. What on earth were he/she thinking when they designed it - that people will happily sit and smell their shit?
And when you do only the small number, you have to aim really well else the collected puddle in the middle raises hell and gets everything else wet.
As I traveled around here a bit more and went to some more bathrooms, I realized that this was an old design and the new ones that they use are the regular ones. But sadly I live in a building that is older than me and I sit on a commode that is from another era.
There, I have said it. Now if you are disgusted, picture me each morning!
And get disgusted some more.
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